The sleep stand off

I wish I’d started at the beginning but for that to be so, I’d have needed to know back in 2009 that a) the difficulties would not pass and b) that in years to come I’d wish I’d have kept a log and c) that in 2017 I’d be wishing more people understood what we are going through and be regretting not feeling able to bring you up to speed!

So instead I’m starting where we are now. It’s not entirely new to us. It’s the sleep-war. I.e. we’ve gone through a robust evening routine and attempted to settle our littlest into bed but he ‘fears’ sleep, actively avoids anything remotely connected to giving into ‘rest’ and will resist and avoid so much so, that daddybear and I have recently consented to the psychiatrist prescribing some meds to ‘help’. I say help but he had those meds nearly 3 hours ago and is still not giving in, although he’s a lot more mellow than without. He’ll up the anti in a mo and we’ll go through the  various tactics we know to get him back into bed. Over the years we’ve been quizzed by professionals on our parenting because surely with consistency all children ‘learn’ the right way to behave yea? Well the eldest is tucked up asleep, conforming to the text book type routines and ‘learning’ from the consistency we offer him… and then there’s Roo, who breaks all the rules and numerous times a day forces me to utter (in my head) phrases such as ‘I can’t keep doing this’ or ‘I’m gonna kill him’ or ‘right that’s it I quit’. But that’s the thing, I can’t quit, no one else is going to pick up the pieces, and so we’re  here, enjoying our Saturday evening where one parent or the other attends to Roo and we sarcastically find something we’ll watch together on the telly, pour 2 glasses of wine and then ignore each other all nite whilst taking it in turns to creep ever so close to the edge of insanity.

And when sleep is allowed (his and ours)… we will silently sigh in relief but never entirely relax because we know all too well that the sleep stand off also leads to night waking. Each nite when sleep arrives  I’ll analyse what worked and what didn’t, planning out what tactics to employ tomorrow.

☆3 positives from each day☆

Daddybear and I started the day with a lie in – the type where you’re very much awake but don’t have to be anywhere by a deadline so can be lazy in bed whilst the boys take advantage and play the PlayStation without a time limit!

Today has been a good day; a family outing in the countryside marked for me by the caring side of my boys holding back brambles for each other and asking as we climb fences “mummy are you Ok?”

Today was the day I actually opened the ‘blog’… the long thought about but procrastinated over blog…the blog I didn’t know how to start.. ♡

21.20. He’s asleep!


Author: mummagrizzlybear

I write for my own therapeutic release of the stresses we encounter as a family navigating the SEN world with Autism and PDA. I am passionate about reducing isolation and encouraging everyone to create a #virtualvillage of a support network so that nobody on this journey of parenting needs to feel alone or inadequate. You can comment on a blog, or drop me an email at or come and find me on facebook at … whatever you do, please do not feel alone.

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